The 3 Day Breast Cancer Walk Philadelphia
So what can I say about the 3 Day Breast Cancer Walk in Philadelphia? I had such high hopes and expectations for the weekend. A journey of 60 miles. A chance to make a difference! To raise money to find A CURE! I signed up for the challenge in January of this year.
I had pinned so much on the walk. I thought that during the walk I would feel Melody there with me, her presence somehow. After all of the planning, all of the equipment, the packing, the making plans for babysitters - the day before the walk, a Noreaster blew in and they canceled the first day of the walk, Friday. Shortly thereafter they canceled the 2nd day of the walk, Saturday, as well. And then we were left with one day, Sunday - just 15 miles.
The walk was difficult, after all it was cold and rainy but I know none of it compared to anything that Melody had gone through in the 8 years of the fight for her life.
It will be 5 months since she's been gone on the 27th and it still feels like a punch in the stomach every time I remember that she is actually gone. I don't know if I thought I would catch a glimpse of her along the way or really actually feel her but none of that happened. And I went home and felt so disappointed and my loss felt so much more real. I actually feel selfish thinking about myself, because my loss is nothing compared to her son's, her mother's, or her father's. Now theirs is a loss that I don't even want to begin to imagine.
All in all, I was pretty uninspired by the 3 Day. From the 2 canceled days, the disorganized chaos of the day, to the rain and the mud. I knew it wasn't going to be perfect and I was looking forward to it really kicking my butt. But I think the biggest disappointment was not seeing her at the end. And that's something the 3 Day never could have given us. But for some strange reason I almost expected it.
To make up for the upset that all the Philadelphia walkers felt, we were given the option to walk in any other walk in any other city in the US through the remainder of this year. But for me, I would then need to fork out money for travel and babysitters again and being recently unemployed, that's not really an option for me. We also were told that our $90 registration fee would be waived for next year if we wanted to participate again next year. But we'll again have to raise the $2300+ per person to walk in the walk. So although the walk was for a wonderful cause and it felt good to be there and to have contributed to the over $8 million raised by the Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk Philadelphia, all in all it was a real let down to me. I hope Melody is proud of me anyhow. I know I'm definitely proud of her, probably more than ever now. And I still miss and love her so much. I'll have to find other ways to honor her memory going forward.
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